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Post by SOLY on Jul 26, 2006 21:09:18 GMT 6
I am so tired today. Not even start writing the 3rd eps. Let me start now. B4 going to the bed. Anyway, did u see the character added??
Lucky Wong as Toby
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Post by SOLY on Jul 26, 2006 22:15:09 GMT 6
ohh my god. It's night. And I am writing about the death. Aiii, scared. I am shivered, haha.
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Post by wendysys on Jul 27, 2006 9:17:49 GMT 6
hehe..how many altogether?
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Post by SOLY on Jul 27, 2006 12:24:45 GMT 6
Wat di u mean, Wendy? how many eps?
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Post by *~J~* on Jul 27, 2006 18:30:06 GMT 6
don't you mean Lucky Wang. Lucky's surname should be the same as Liza. haha.
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Post by SOLY on Jul 27, 2006 18:41:09 GMT 6
Ya. But u know I thought in cantonese Liza's surname is Wong. Liza Wong instead of Liza Wang.
I know that his surname's the same as Liza's, lol. Blanco and Castor's surname is Soum too, haha.
I will change Toby's name to Lucky.
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Post by SOLY on Jul 27, 2006 23:37:44 GMT 6
Episode 3
Kenneth told Kevin that a woman was here to recognise the corpse… Kevin led her to the mortuary for her to identify the dead man. Upon seeing the corpse, Mrs. Jiang broke down in tears… Kevin asked her if she was positive it was her husband Mrs Jiang: It’s him it really is him! My husband has a mark on the right side of his belly exactly the same as the corpse Kenneth then told Kevin that Mrs Jiang had reported her husband missing a few days ago
Few minutes later, in the investigation room: Kevin asked Mrs Jiang and Kenneth took the note. Kevin: “When did u see your husband for the last time?” Mrs Jiang: “the day before yesterday, about 4 pm, before I went to the province to see my mother.” Kevin: “Do u know if he has any enemies?” Mrs Jiang: “No. But his business has not been doing well and he has a lot of debts.” Kevin: “Do you know who his creditors are?” Mrs Jiang: “I don’t know.” And she continued crying. Kevin and Kenneth looked at each other. Kevin: “Mrs Jiang, we would like to take a look in your house"
Mrs Jiang agreed
Mrs Jiang led the police to visit her house. When Mrs Jiang was busy observing other polices, Kevin and Kenneth went to the room and collect the hair from the comb and important things used by the Mr Jiang. They didn’t find anything special in the house.
Later, in Mr Chen’s office: Kevin reported the situation to Gong. Kevin: “his wife was the last person to see him before his death, but she wasn’t in HK when the crime’s happen. And there’s nothing special in their house. It doesn’t look like a place which the crime was taken.” Gong listened to him seriously. Then Kevin continued: “Among his creditors, all have evidences to not being at the crime scene, but one. He’s an engineer. He was last seen 2 days ago also. His wife said that, 2 days ago, he went to demand the money back from a client. And he never came back.”
In the lab: Liza examined the hair. She looked questioning. Kevin asked her then if there’s any problem. Liza: “It’s strange. The hair belongs to two different people but none is the dead person’s.” Kevin looked at her, and questioned himself. Liza: “I need to go to see the house.”
Jiangs’ house: Liza observed carefully the house. Upstairs, Kenneth and Kevin viewed the photos and stole few (haha, specialist of stealing). Liza looked at the sofa and saw something shined under. She approached and took it with a pincers. It’s a piece of glass. Liza turned to Gong. Gong looked at her as well. Mrs Jiang looks surprise to see it there.
End E3
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Post by ^K^ on Jul 28, 2006 6:41:34 GMT 6
how come it seems like everywhere Liza is Shek always appears...dont they work in different departments??hahaha...i mean like...if Liza is in the lab, should Gong be somewhere like sitting at his desk examining the files?!haha...
and why would Kevin and Kenneth steal photos?i mean like...if its part of the evidence, they shouldnt really be touching anything...cos like...thats the job of the forensics...
"His wife said that, 2 days ago, he went to request the money back from a client. And he never came back." - request?haha...some ppl arent that nice to just go and request money if they arent being paid in time...
so let me get this rite...the engineer went to the victim's to get his money, but he never returned and now theres one dead and one is missing?
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Post by wendysys on Jul 28, 2006 7:03:05 GMT 6
how come it seems like everywhere Liza is Shek always appears...dont they work in different departments??hahaha...i mean like...if Liza is in the lab, should Gong be somewhere like sitting at his desk examining the files?!haha... Soly likes them to be together...hehe...
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Post by SOLY on Jul 28, 2006 11:38:16 GMT 6
haha, ok! let it to be Kevin. But don't u think that Kevin is every where now?
Yes, it's right one dead, 1 missing. For the evident. They took the photos ect.. with gloves. Need me to say? haha.
Anyway, u can guess who's guilty?
Anyway, I need to find in the day to write the crime scene. Haha. I am so stupid, I'm scared to write at night. Haha, I feel like when I am watching ghost movie, haha. u know why it's to slow. Coz, I need to play games at the same time, haha.
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Post by *~J~* on Jul 28, 2006 14:08:42 GMT 6
umm.. i think it'll be really interesting if the engineer was found dead too. haha.... like murderer got murdered. haha.
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daisy
New Member
Posts: 52
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Post by daisy on Jul 28, 2006 19:52:59 GMT 6
i think the glasses Liza found is Danny? AM I right?
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Post by SOLY on Jul 28, 2006 22:57:23 GMT 6
haha!!! hey you guys always say that I am obsessed with Liza n Sek. haha, Daisy! it seems u are waiting for Danny to appear, lol. Danny will appear, but don't want to tell u when, hehe. You will see. anyway, it's not the glasses that ppl wear to help the view. But it's the piece of glass for mirror, table, window ect...
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Post by SOLY on Jul 29, 2006 11:06:09 GMT 6
Episode 4
Liza put the glass in a small transparent bag. Liza raised her head and looked up to the upstairs. She saw Kenneth and Kevin walking around.
Later, in the police station: Liza, Mr Chen and Kevin Liza: “I think Jiang's house might be a crime scene as we found a piece of glass but surprisingly the glass table is not damaged.” Kevin: “Mr Jiang fell down on the table. The table’s broken.” Mr Chen: “The murderer must have just bought a new one to replace it… We should investigate nearby the glass supplier.” Kevin: “Yes, sir… And … This is the photo of Mrs Jiang that I took from there.” Mr Chen: “Is there anything interesting?” Liza: “The fabric of her shirt is like the tissue found in the hand of the body.” Kevin: “exactly!” Liza: “But it’s just a photo. We can’t confirm.” Mr Chen: “Issue a warrant to search her house again!” Kevin: “yes, sir.”
Kevin led the police to search Mrs Jiang’s house, but they found nothing. Back to the office, Kevin reported to Mr Chen that he can’t find the shirt. And he added: “But if Mrs Jiang is the suspect, how can she bring the body to the forest then reached her mom’s house at that short time?” Gong: “She might have helper.” Kevin: “But their maid said that when Mrs Jiang left the house, Mr Jiang was still there.” Then both people stayed quiet and thought.
Liza came back home. She took the letter from the box and saw a letter destined to Ray. It’s from state police school. She went up asked her maid if Ray’s back yet. Then she heard Lucky’s barking from Ray’s room. Ray was wearing the police outfit to show Rebecca and Lucky. Rebecca praised him for being handsome with the outfit. Liza went nearby and knocked the door: “Ah Fung?” Hearing his mother’s voice, he rushed to change his cloth. Rebecca opened the door for her sister. Lucky was happy to see Liza. Liza (to Rebecca): “Why need that long to open? And what are you doing here?” Rebecca: “Lucky misses your son.” Liza smiled, and then addressed Ray. Liza: “Tell me, you! Why u got a letter from state police school?” Ray and Rebecca looked at each other. Ray: “Err…” Lucky took the police cap hidden to play. Liza saw it, and approached Lucky. Ray rushed to take it from Lucky before Liza. Liza: “What does it mean?” Rebecca: “well, you will find out sooner. No point in hiding it from u now. Your son has just passed a test to become a policeman. (Approaching Ray) See! How handsome he is. He matches the police’s outfit intern. Liza (to Ray): You know well. I don’t want you to do this job. (To Rebecca) And you too, you knew it, why you didn’t tell me?” Ray: “I am sorry mom. But I really want this job.” Rebecca (to Liza): “You should be proud of your son.” Liza looked at her firmly.
Morrow, Liza went to the police station. The police greeted her: “Dr Lam.” Liza looked really serious and looked for Gong. A police called Gong to tell him about Liza’s presence, but Liza’s already in Gong’s office. Gong’s happy to see Liza: “Liza!” But Liza showed him a bad temper.
End E4
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Post by *~J~* on Jul 29, 2006 13:40:31 GMT 6
Comments for Episode 4 Liza put the piece of glass found under the sofa in the in a sack transparent. you mean she put the glass in a small transparent bag. Liza threw a regard to upstairs. err, i dunno what you mean... regard? Liza: I think think Jiang's house might be a crime scene as we found a piece of glass but surprisingly the glass table is not damaged. Kevin: We should ask the glass suppliers for details about glass replacement that took place recently? Liza: The tissue of her shirt is like the tissue found in the hand of the body. umm... you mean the fabric. Chen: 'Issue a decree to search her house again!?' i think u mean a warrant Liza: Tell me, you! Why u got a letter from state police school?? woah........... Tell me, you! Liza sounds so strict and barbaric. haha. Rebecca: Well! Whatever, it will be known. Let me tell you then. i think a better way to put it would be "You'll know sooner or later." Morrow, Liza went to the police station. i notice that you like to leave out the "To" for tomorrow. and ooh... Liza's really angry. haha Sek's in hot water now.
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Post by SOLY on Jul 29, 2006 17:36:25 GMT 6
Firstly, thanks for your correction, hehe. Always look for this. But for tomorrow and morrow, lol. It's wat I reported, then it's in the past. I think it's incorrect to say tomorrow. I am wrong. Coz tomorrow, I say in the present la. Don't know. We can't call it decree?? ok I will use warrant, hehe. Yup it's fabric, Regard: same word in french, lol. I meant she rose her head and looked upto upstairs
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Post by *~J~* on Jul 29, 2006 17:59:46 GMT 6
i hope you don't mind us correcting your fanfic! hehe, i was like regard what? ahaha...
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Post by SOLY on Jul 29, 2006 18:49:29 GMT 6
No I don't mind, but can u answer my question?
Coz I really think that I am right to use "morrow" instead of "tomorrow". And can't I use decree instead of warrant?
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Post by ^K^ on Jul 29, 2006 19:28:09 GMT 6
"Kenneth slipped, almost fell down, but the hand rail prevented him to fall down. Kevin told him to be careful." - wats the point in putting this part in the story?has it got somethin to do with the case cos it just seems pointless to have this part in it...it'll be different if he slipped which led to some evidence but doesnt seem like that from here...
Liza: “I think Jiang's house might be a crime scene as we found a piece of glass but surprisingly the glass table is not damaged.” Kevin: “Mr Jiang fell down on the table. The table’s broken.” ok call me pick as u may...but Liza just said that the table aint damaged...so why does Kevin say the table is?and like...there wasnt really a mention of a glass table previously...if u had said...that there was a glass table somewhere in the house then it woulda made more sense...
Kevin: “Yes, sir… And … This is the photo of Mrs Jiang that I took from there.” - um...i dont think a police officer would just grab something at a potential crime scene, technically if they spotted something they would report it there and then...
Mr Chen: “Is there anything interesting?” - "what's so special about the photo?" would sound better
Liza: “The fabric of her shirt is like the tissue found in the hand of the body.” - like J already pointed tissue should be changed to fabric, u changed one but didnt change the other
She took the letter from the box and saw a letter destined to Ray - the word should be "addressed" instead of destined
Liza (to Rebecca): “Why need that long to open? And what are you doing here?” - "what took u so long to open the door?"
Liza: “Tell me, you! Why u got a letter from state police school?” - she's so ork (mad) at least make her ask him nicely if there was anything he wanted to tell her and if he responds with a no then u say "oh yeah...so thell me, why have u recieved a letter for the state police school?!"
Rebecca: “Well! You'll know sooner. Let me tell you then. Your son has just passed a test to become a policeman. (Approaching Ray) See! How handsome he is. He matches the police’s outfit intern. - "well, ur bound to find out sooner or later.i guess no point in hiding it from u now...."
Liza (to Ray): You know well. I don’t want you to do this job. (To Rebecca) And you too, you knew it, why you didn’t tell me?” - "u know fine well i dont want u to do this job!...and u!u knew this all along?why didnt u tell me?"
Morrow, Liza went to the police station. - sorry to say but i dislike the word "morrow"! why dont u just say, "the next day"/"the following morning"/"the following day"
The police greeted her: “Mrs Lam.” - i think normally at the police or watever they would greet forensics as "Dr Lam" instead...
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Post by SOLY on Jul 29, 2006 19:50:08 GMT 6
haha, that scene, coz I want to show that the dead fell from there onto the table. The table should have been broken, but it's still there. So it must have been replaced. lol.
Ok, I am glad that u correct me, but how come no comment on the story?
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